“Therefore, put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”

Ephesians 6:13, ESV

I’ve watched many depictions of the horrors of the battlefield. The ones of men crawling across the beaches of Normandy while salt sprays fogged their vision and bullets pinged past them. The ones of men in crowded flying fortresses delivering critical blows while being ripped apart by the bullets of smaller jets. The moments of tenuous firefights in Bastogne.

The men who fought to protect their families back home donned their gear, knowing the fire was coming. The helmet, the bandages, the boots, the weapons — everything had a purpose in the battle ahead.

As a believer, the only battlefield I know wasn’t one across from an enemy with a weapon, but the enemy who prowls around like a lion. I will never know the fear of hunkering down in a ditch surrounded by the icy cold of winter and the mortar shells of a powerful enemy, but I know the one enemy I face.

I knew him when the valley in my life opened up and swallowed me whole. I knew him when the constant onslaught of legal attacks slipped in, robbing my nights, taking time from my family, and leaving me frozen as the attacks whizzed past.  

I knew the enemy when the fire burned, and the thing I fought for ended.

“Put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes…”

Not if…

When.

I didn’t understand that before my hard season.

I wore the armor, but didn’t realize the battle was coming.  

That hard was a guarantee.

Then it happened.

I couldn’t see the Lord in front of me. I couldn’t hear Him. I slipped, crawled, and did my best to follow the footsteps He was leaving, but the confusion of the battle was relentless, and the temptation to take my eyes off Jesus and focus on the firefight was powerful.

It wasn’t a triumphant march of faith. It was a slow crawl through the wearying confusion of the battle. The Lord didn’t stop the battle. He went ahead of me, and I followed after, uncertain of where He was leading.

The armor was heavy.

The day of evil was blinding.

I didn’t understand the “whys”.

I still don’t.

I don’t know when the next hard time will come.

But my armor is on.

My Commander is faithful.

And I know this:

When day dawned after the battle, when I expected everything to be ruined and lost, I realized something.

After everything… I was still standing.